So, I’ve rearranged the furniture in every room in the house, painted some, and cleaned out closets and dressers. I’ve made lots of new friends and see them and my ‘old’ friends more often. I’ve taken up walking when I can’t concentrate or need to clear my mind. Reading and thinking have and continue to help me understand myself and my situation better. My life is actually pretty darned good.
Still lots of reading and thinking and working through pain-filled thoughts. It is still difficult to concentrate on my work during the day. The papers should be ready to sign soon. On a happier note, I put little Bug on the school bus for the first time this morning. She said she had a ‘fabulous’ day at school. 
Reading and thinking lots… trying to order my thoughts and work through the bad stuff that is happening and look to the future. I feel good most of the time, but have moments of intense sadness. Of course, Little Bug is the sunshine in my days. Today I am playing hooky with her. Currently, she is pretending to be a bunny rabbit named Winter.
I am so thankful for my friends and family that comfort me and are helping me face the days ahead with hope. There are sad and joyful pieces to each day. I am trying to think of this ending as getting a fresh start – sweeping the foundation clean and building something that is different.
They say that 1/2 of first marriages end in divorce and that about 2/3 of second marriages end in divorce. Well, I’m set to become yet another statistic either in July or August of this year. I never saw it coming, but I’ll survive and be stronger.
Someone is feeling blue, yet again…
Looking back over the last year I’ve accomplished a few new things, but not nearly as many as 2009.
First, I rode 65 miles in a row on my bike for my birthday.
I also rode 75 miles in one week (in preparation for the big birthday ride). DH wants to do the 100 mile ride next year.
We visited several dinosaur museums/exhibits. This is the Museum of the Rockies.
We also saw some amazing sites out west (Grand Canyon of Yellowstone and the Upper Terraces).
I didn’t do much new in knitting, but I did make an amigarumi for Little Bug and some crochet French Press Slippers.
I did make a few new things in the kitchen, like the chocolate bark from Emeril.
Even though it isn’t new to me, I made several different kinds of biscuits, too.
Finally, I did make a little Bat…
I thought I’d try to post a little more. Mostly, I am a photo-inspired blogger, so I’m participating in the post-a-week “thing” at wordpress. One of the topics for yesterday was about concentration. I can be very focused and actually work better that way. Multi-tasking dilutes my concentration and I am especially distracted by sound. So, when I want to concentrate, I try to remove all distractions, particularly noise. I can focus intensely some times to the point of ignoring all the distractions, but that is not the best.
In other things… Classes don’t start back here until Jan 13, so I’ve been working at school in the mornings and then playing hooky in the afternoons. Syllabi are mostly done and I’m working on writing up new projects and revising lectures. I’m back to working on my blue malabrigo scarf (one row scarf) and am done.
I finished Bug’s pink kitty (crochet, variation on the reindeer pattern).
We also went to high tea at the Savannah Tea Company in Nashville. It was delicious. I had mountain huckleberry black tea and DH had rhubarb-strawberry black tea. We bought some red currant to take home.
Today was a snow day (and tomorrow is, too), so I made chili and peanut butter gelato (variation on Mario Batali’s Vanilla gelato recipe).
The pattern is from LionBrand – Happy Reindeer. Bug got Rudolph for Christmas (out of Red Heart soft). I modified it to make a kitty (Caron simply soft) for one of Bug’s friends.
Well, Christmas and New Year’s Day is done and we’ve put away all the Christmas decorations. It is sad, but also a bit liberating. The decorations take up so much space and now that they are away and things from the past year are cleaned up, I feel I can breathe much easier now.
There are a number of things I’d like to work on this year, not exactly resolutions. I always feel like I am a work in progress – constantly reading books and trying to learn new things. I read and think and try to change, but I end up the same old person I was before I started because I forget or run out of energy to keep it up. I sometimes wonder if change is at all possible. I must have hope that I can because I keep trying.
Some things I’d like to work on this year are: my health (mainly losing weight), my inability to manage my time well, my tendency to take on too much, and my general unkindness to myself. All of these things are inter-related, I think. I treat others better and with more respect than I do myself. I will take some steps I think I can live with. First, I’ll start by drinking 2 large glasses of water every day this month. Also, I’ll take 2 hours out of the week to do something for myself. We’ll see how this turns out as a busy semester gets busier…
Anyway, I think reflection is a very good tool, so I’ve also joined the postaweek2011 move on wordpress. The topic for today is: write about something that makes you smile.
That would be my lovely daughter, Miss Bug, who thoroughly enjoyed Christmas. She is so energetic and enthusiastic. Sometimes it is nice, but it also wears me out!
